Exalted, but only when…
"...'for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:5-7
I see my hands turned white with the grip of pride. Whether it's the daily things that have me grasping at straws, or the life-altering moments that send me reeling towards self-sabotage, self-promotion, or simply self-preservation: I must cast them off.
My God does not look down on me in silent carelessness or casual disinterest. He's paying special attention to my heart. There is a state in which I please him, and a state in which I don't, and may the God of my salvation help me in those moments where I'm in danger of becoming that which he must oppose.
My Lord, I want to be humble, and what other option do I truly have? I can choose to hold on for dear life to a fantasized idea of my own control over my circumstances, but in that moment I have lost my sanity and gained the opposition of the One I adore. May it never be. For your mighty hand is the power that determines and controls the destinies of all, and the care of your heart is both the intent and the action that ends in my good.
Lord, help me to trust in this timing and this will of yours that you have decreed proper. It is fixed; it is sure; it is defined and determined by your pleasure.
And yet, it still contains my exaltation.
When you ordered out the happenings of all mankind's history, my dignity, honor, and happiness were all considered and ensured. The timing was allotted, the road towards it paved: now all I have to do is wait.
And in it all, there is none of me, for you are the one who cares - the one who acts. To think that I could somehow act and succeed in bringing about my own glory! That task is all yours. You are the one who is gentle and tender, gathering and protective, desirous for my good. You're the one who restores. You’re the one who cares with action, efficacy, and force.
Oh my heart, why do you whisper? Why do you grapple with the Almighty? You verily slap him in the face! His care for you surpasses your knowledge, and will always surpass your ability to return praise. He has a plan to exalt you, so do not rush that which is already promised. For if there is a proper time for your placement to rise, then doesn’t it follow that if you tried to raise yourself too soon, it would not be rising at all? It would simply be a hollow attempt to get out from under that eternally weighted hand, sinking yourself deeper into the dust from which you came and that which you still are.
So cast your anxieties on him, for your cares are even more his than they are yours, for you just experience them - he is the one who looks after, acts in, and accomplishes his purposes in every single one.
Humble yourself, oh my soul!
Lord, help me to do so. I am called to do so little, and yet you will do so much.
